Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
