She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
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