I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
