if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
