I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize