He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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