I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Ladies don't puke and tell
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
