I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize
