yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
We need to get me chipped asap
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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