Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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