I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
