Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
