I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
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