he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Randomize
