He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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