Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
