How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Randomize
