yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
only you would photoshop your dick
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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