dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Randomize
