You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
