he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
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