omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
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