he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Randomize
