just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Randomize
