I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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