we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Randomize
