In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize