Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize