Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
