The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
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