How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Randomize
