walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
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