There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize
