You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
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