it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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