so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
