I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
