I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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