Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
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