If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Randomize
