I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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