nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
