Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
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