check it out our google latitudes are spooning
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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