we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
