the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
