it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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