i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
