Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
Ketchup is God's man juice
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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