Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
