remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
pray to the hookup gods
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
