nut hugger
literally had 100 drinks last night.
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize
