I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
