My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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