i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
