aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
