their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
So drunk, too bad you don't want this
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Randomize
