Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
