I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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