i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Randomize
