I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
You took a bar mat shot.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
My vagina is very pro this idea
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize