is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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