break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
