So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Randomize
