when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
