therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
