I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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