And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
