If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Randomize
