lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
