You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
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